I wrote the other day about the Harry-haters. Yesterday at the home-school coöp, a girl in my nine-year-old son’s class, who has previously called him a “Satan worshiper” because he likes the Harry Potter books, told him, “Presbyterians are just Satan worshipers who put Bibles in their churches to fool everybody.” Lovely.
Here are some pictures of some of us evil satanic Presbyterians engaging in some of our occult rituals. (This is the church we worshiped in before we moved here. Notice especially the pictures of what we call a “sack race,” an ancient form of divination, and our darkest ritual of all, known as a “potluck.” “Secret’s in the sauce,” I always say.)
Besides, if she’d bother to visit one of our churches, she’d find that we’re far too busy putting AIDS-infected hypodermic needles in gas pump handles and in the ball pits at all the Chuck E. Cheeses around the country to have time for reading Bibles.
I hurt for a child who grows up with such a fearful, paranoid, bigoted world view. Sounds like she’s been to “Jesus Camp.”