Why you should vacation in West Monroe

Seen today on the marquee of the Super 8 Motel near Thomas Road in West Monroe, LA:

FREE TOAST OR CEREAL BAR

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About revjatb

I am a father of six who is trying to do his best! My interests are varied. I have one blog, KnowTea, that is primarily focused on liturgy and worship and another one, Bengtsson's Baking, that is about, well, baking! I hope you enjoy both of them, and if you have any questions, please contact me!
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26 Responses to Why you should vacation in West Monroe

  1. derorgelmeister says:

    Git in the truck, keyids! We’re goin to West Monroe for some cereal bar or free toast!

  2. kristen says:

    I would totally brave the sketchy WM smell for THAT.

  3. Brad says:

    I was still crackin’ up at random times throughout the day after that phone call.

    Can you imagine some kind of management meeting where that was decided? “The other guys are giving free breakfast!”

    Mr. Skinflint-CEO: “Well…why don’t we offer free toast or those Nutri-Grain bars? People don’t have time for a real breakfast anymore anyway!”

  4. PaulB says:

    Ok, Ok, I believe I can almost top that.

    ACTUAL flyer I received in the mail yesterday, no joke:

    FREE Energia Soccer Ball FREE

    First time worship visitors age 17 and younger will be given a free soccer ball.

    [insert info about FBC Kathleeen, GA]

    Clip out coupon below and bring it to worship. See the pastor at the conclusion of the service for your free soccer ball.

  5. WonderGirl says:

    I hear they even have BUTTER for the toast. Well, a spray that’s supposed to taste like butter. Still. Quality stuff there.

  6. What would really be wonderful is if they didn’t just have the “toast or cereal bar” in plain view, and you had to go up when you were checking out and ask for it:

    Guest: Excuse me, can I please have my free toast or cereal bar?
    Clerk: Why certainly! Which would you like?
    Guest: Hmmmm…the cereal bar.
    Clerk: {pulls open desk drawer, rummages through plastic bags and retrieves an 8-ct box of NutriGrain bars, whips one out and slaps it on the desk} Here you go! Thanks for staying at Super 8! We hope it was Super!

    Guest 2: Hey, can I please have my free toast?
    Clerk: But of course! Would you like a pat of margarine? 5 cents extra. Unless you get trans-fat free, and that’s 12 cents.
    Guest 2: {a bit put off} I’ll just take it plain, thanks.
    Clerk: Okie dokie!
    {Clerk pulls a well-seasoned toaster from a cabinet beneath the desk, opens another drawer, and retrieves a slice of Great Value Sandwich White, plugs in the toaster, drops in the bread, and goes back to filing her nails}
    Guest 2: I just get one?
    Clerk: Excuse me?
    Guest: One slice of toast? I only get one?

    I could go on and on…if only Monty Python were still active.

  7. Paul – nuh uh!?!

  8. cancerman says:

    Now is that a ceral bar like nutrigrain, or a cereal bar, like a selection of cereals right there on the counter. I’ve got to know before I make my reservations

  9. vrouw_jonker says:

    There ya go, cancerman.
    “We’ve got Corn Flakes, Froot Loops… Oh, Fiber One Plus Bran? Having a little problem with ‘Travel Bowels’? Hey, Vern! Have we got any Immodium in the back with the little shampoos and disposable razors?”

  10. RevJATB says:

    Ooh, yes, cancerman, and it could be a TOAST BAR too! “We got your white, your wheat, or your raisin, buttered on the near or far side. Foil bags for your convenience too, so you can take your toast out to your car and eat it.”

  11. RevJATB says:

    Paul, do you think the soccer ball had the church’s name or logo on it?

  12. PaulB says:

    I don’t know. I guess we’ll have to give away footballs with the UGA logo on them (maybe we’ll get a visit from Cancerman and spouse that way– if he still frequents the PCA variety).

  13. Mark says:

    If they cannot throw in a Pop-Tart then I will not be there.

    OH JOHN! Krispy Kreme in AZ went bankrupt. They shut down every one of the stores here. You cannot even purchase the doughnuts in the stores. The t.v. news showed this mother and her 3 or 4 year old child. She had promised him a Krispy Kreme if he was a “good boy”. It showed her talking to the reporter and the child crying because he was not able to have one. That will probably scar that child for life. Isn’t that sad? What was even worse was that the employees showed up for work and the sign announcing the closure was on the locked doors. They are owed at least 3 weeks of pay, and they will not be paid until all bankruptcy proceedings have occured. I wish I had a custard filled chocolate doughnut.

  14. Vrouw_Jonker says:

    Oh, the humanity!
    What we all need in this hour of despair, in addition to the community of one another, is a HOT doughnut whose glaze is still meltingly in its semi-liquid state.

  15. RevJATB says:

    That is just sad, Mark. That poor child. Some of my earliest memories are of going to the Krispy Kreme on 1st Avenue North in Birmingham. And then some of my favorite memories are of going to that same location, late, late at night, with you and others, after that neighborhood had changed considerably.

    Of course, I have similar memories of going to the one at Five Points West, which is now closed (probably due to too many drive-bys). Now that I think of it, that one in Atlanta we went to was in a pretty dodgy neighborhood too. Maybe the roughness of the neighborhood makes the doughnuts taste better.

    Well I hope Krispy Kreme’s recent troubles do not cause a total collapse of the company. Surely in the South, where they originated, they will still survive.

    Goodness gracious! No Kripsy Kremes in all of AZ. And we thought we have it rough because the closest one to us is an hour’s drive away.

    Next time you’re going to Decatur, make plans to drive instead of fly, and you can stay with us, provided you stop at the KK in Shreveport on your way! Molly is welcome too, and we’ll let you bring your shampoo and cologne, unlike the airlines.

  16. RevJATB says:

    WHEW!

    Turns out, it is not the Krispy Kreme corporation that is in bankruptcy, but the Rigel Corporation, the franchisee that owned the KK stores in AZ as well as two in Albuquerque, NM.

    Apparently, Krispy Kreme Corporation is already working on either getting another franchisee to run the stores, or doing what it did in Southern CA and take the stores over for itself. So hope is on the way, Mark!

  17. RevJATB says:

    But I still agree with the good Vrouw that a couple o’ boxes o’ hot glazed would help us through this difficult interim period.

  18. cancerman says:

    Paul,

    If you have a toast bar and a UGA soccer ball, we will venture to hell or metro Warner Robins to get it.

  19. Mark says:

    I wonder if the toast bar has all the fixin’s? John, will you humor us? Please call that motel and ask about exactly what the cereal and toast bar consist of. For example would they provide bagels for toasting, or English muffins? Also, what are the cereals? I bet you anything that Froot Loops are on the bar. Also, whole milks, 2%, or Skim? (I bet they mix it up in the back.)

    Speaking of milk. A few years ago I was at the Charles Town Races Slot Machine Parlor a few years ago. They went all uppity by placing a fancy coffee bar in the middle of the casino. I ordered a skim latte. The lady looked at me funny. She asked, “Is skim anything like vitamin D?”

  20. Sara says:

    in Natchitoches, a latte apparently is just basically a fancy term for black coffee. i know this because when i lived there, i was served them that way repeatedly.

  21. PaulB says:

    cancerman sez:

    “If you have a toast bar and a UGA soccer ball, we will venture to hell or metro Warner Robins to get it.”

    Some would respond, “same difference.”

  22. cancerman says:

    Hell reportedly has fewer gnats.

  23. PaulB says:

    Believe it or not, we are just on the edge of the gnat line. It’s not that bad. Thankfully.

  24. cancerman says:

    Ah, the gnat line a line more permanent than the iron curtain and more daunting than the poverty line. Chef and the two princesses don’t believe in it.

  25. Mark says:

    http://www.travelhero.com/prophome.cfm/id/50167/aid/300/index.html

    They describe the breakfast as limited on the website.

    The Attactions list:
    The Louisiana Purchase Museum
    The Queen Riverboat
    And the Super Wal-Mart (Next Door)

    John, why would you not want to stay there? You can have toast and warsh it down with a Sam’s Choice Cola.

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